HALOMON!

Jelas masih ingat rasanya bertahun tahun lalu saat aku ingin sekali menjadi dewasa, cetek memang, kupikir jadi dewasa semenyenagkan bisa beli apa saja yang kita suka tanpa harus dilarang-larang, sebatas itu.  Dan ya, entah di usia yang 26 ini aku sudah bisa dibilang dewasa atau belum, tapi apa yang kupikirkan waktu itu tidak sepenuhnya salah, sekarang aku bisa beli apa saja yang aku mau, Alhamdulillah. Namun tentu menjadi dewasa tidak berhenti sampai disitu, menjadi dewasa itu adalah tentang berjuang, berkorban, berteman dengan kegagalan dan kekecewaan, berperang melawan ego sendiri, proses berdamai dengan masa lalu, membiasakan diri terhadap penyesalan, dan usaha memenuhi berbagai tuntutan yang datang dari ekspektasi diri sendiri dan orang-orang disekitar. Tapi tenang mon, it's been going well. Setelah dipikir, masa kecilku berpengaruh besar terhadap kekuatanku berproses menuju dewasa. Keceriaan, kebahagiaan, semua yang terjadi di masa masa kecilku membuatku menjadi pribadi yang s...

I'm finally 26 years old! While spending my turning age time by doing working stuffs just like a typical adult, I'm taking some minutes to write this post. Hey Mon, thankyou and congratulation for passing 26 years of your life in such a supeeeeerrbbb way.  This year,  You might fail in some stuffs,  You might have a really bad times, You might suffer a real pain, You might spend a whole night crying, You might lose some persons, But you survived, you're great.  But yea, with all of the struggles u had this year, you still have more blessings to be gratefull for, thank God! I hope in your new age,  you'll achieve anything u dreamed of. Which means, you have to really struggle this year, you know u've wasted ur time too much before, right? I hope you'll be happy as always, even happier. I hope you'll escalate urself in many aspects (skills, knowledge, self control, religious-things, etc) I hope you'll be wiser  I hope you‘ll maintain your priority better I...

This year's been 3 months away, and it's been suck already, I got the worst battle against my own self. I got too many questions. I got too many things to get done. Well, a quarter-life crisis maybe? Or just me being weak and weaker each day, I'm exhausted, mentally, phisically, and emotionally.  I may know what I did wrong, and I just lay there with no struggle to get it fixed, hoping there'll be a miracle, then complaining why there's not any? Hahahaha, shoot! I'm asking:  Myself, am I being too hard on you? Or I dont push you enough instead? What's wrong? And my other self replying: All I know is I need a hug right now, I'll mind the rest later.